Chamonix Part 2 - the fall of Royal...

The next day I was almost reluctant to open the curtains, but i jumped at joy when staring back at me were the mountains blazed in glorious morning sunshine!!! I could hardly get changed quicker afriad the clouds will change their minds. They can't, we're on a mission and don't we know it! With my big plastic Scarper boots I started thumping down the streets of Chamonix towards the lifts, ...they were working and people were already starting to gather, no real big queues like I've experienced in other resorts but is that because of the end of the season, I don't know I didn't care...! The scene and the mountains didn't disappoint, I swear I must have been an inuit in my past life, I felt like home, I belonged!

I had something at the back of my mind coming here, I have vertigo and despite training for it i dreaded the ridge between Aiguille du Midi and Vallee Blanche and I suspected I buried this fear deeper than I had thought, because I hadn't thought of it until stepping off the cable car..., there are steep falls on either side and although we'll be roped up I still couldn't help but feel a little ill from the mere thought of it....we harnessed up and roped ourselves together and then we were off onto the ridge.... It may have been the thin air, the orange tint on my shades or the just the mere views....the views of towering over Chamonix and the rugged and snowy mountains, but I was fine, digging into the ridge with my crapons like I had a bone to pick with the place !

We spent our time there mountaineering and staring at awe at climbers at the top, it was exilarating. When it was time to go back up the ridge, everyone had gone and it was just us...I couldn't help but feel the vertigo creeping up behind me, ready to pounce. All I could do was look down at my feet and soldier on. It was freeezing as well and I started breathing heavily and loosing my balance, but my leaders voice beckoned me to go on..."C'mon Flo, 7 meters for you to go and then you're there...!". I'd made it and collapsed in a sorry heap whist trying to take my Crampons off.

I turned to find Royal to get my support, but alas he was nowhere to be seen, not in my front smock pocket where I normally had him, not in my rucksack zips.... I panicked... he was there was going across the ridge earlier. So in between my trip in the mountains here I had managed to loose Royal just as quickly as I had found him... I know he was just a bear, but when you start to associate emotions with something and you had relied on it you find it hard to do with out it especially when it was such a swift exit, no friendly goodbyes, no time to absorb the idea of a departure?.... heartbroken over a bear....I know.... but with roller coaster emotions for the last few months and the forever impending trip coming up, I had relied on Royal and he made it a smooth ride for me... (why I gave him his gender I don't know.... blue is for boys right?!)....

Chamonix will always have a place in my heart, even though the first trip didn't go to plan, I knew I had the willpower, courage and the support behind me then, this last visit to Chamonix was a success but ended with loosing what I still think will have got me through my expedition in April. Both visits balanced themselves out, but in my hearts of hearts I knew I preferred my first adventure in December...

Neverthless this trip was significant for me as it was the true beginning of my relationship with snow and the magnificent mountains , but it also marked the end of something else just as spectacular and beautiful... Royal will always be part of the snow and the mountains to me and I'd only have to look at them for any reminder of what he gave me, the strength and pillar he was! Missing him certainly doesn't keep me warm at nights, but out in the cold I know I will be able to count on him, cheering me on and giving me the warm motivation I need...

If anyone happens to come across a navy blue bear (possibly answers to the name of 'Royal') of such description with a tear on his right shoulder then please return him, or take good care of him, I'll be content to know that he'll be someone else's pillar rather than lost in abyss of the snow... (even if you make up a new navy blue bear and tear it's shoulder, I promise to turn a blind eye and pretend he was the original...!)