A Distant Dream... becoming real

When I was a wee lass I used to sit hours on end hanging out my window wondering and questioning, questioning and wondering... What are we doing here? Why am I conscious of my existence? What's the rest of the universe like?

The feeling of amazement was constantly so strong, I truly believed we were special. The stars - oh the stars! I could never get bored of the stars, how I tracked them night upon night until dawn broke and I'd fall asleep still hanging out my window.

It may sound like I lived in the middle of nowhere where skies are always clear but in fact I grew up in central london in a council estate that of which I could see stamford bridge football stadium from my window (was fun trying to see how lagged the TV was compared with the actual cheering just across the stadium).

My constant curiosity of the universe and the stars made me determined that it was what I wanted to do when I grew up, be an explorer, an astrophysicist to be precise...

My hero was a astronomer called Carl Sagan, even as a young child he connected with our minds and that's what I loved about him.  His one piece I discovered coincided with a pivotal point in my childhood and changed the way I've looked at our planet and ourselves for good. 

It's called the Pale Blue Dot. Sagan was part of the team that sent up Casini a space probe sent to research Saturn, it's rings and moons, he turned the camera back to Earth from Saturn and caught a what seemed like insignificant photo at the time. 

"Consider again that dot. That's here. That's home. That's us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every "superstar", every "supreme leader", every siant and sinner in the history of our species lived there — on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam..."

When technology came into place (yes I'm that old!!) the first thing I did was to search for his clip on the Pale Blue Dot.  It's one thing reading his words, to hear it from the legend himslef is a different thing.   

When I'm stressed or frustrated, I just find this video (or his book) and all what I felt would seems so insignificant...

It made me realise and more determined to be an explorer but explorer of our own world firstly... Don't get me wrong, the universe and cosmos still plays a strong part in my interests, and recently Professor Brian Cox has rekindled my love and facination for it but becoming an astrophysicist was never solely going to get me into space. I am a true believer of multiple lives, so space travel will have to be another lifetime

Explorer? I didn't quite make it, life got in the way sooner than I had planned and I had to grow up real fast (how or why is for another blog!), then the perception of how we should live our life got in the way... (funny how that happens huh?).  Other interests loomed up in the meantime, like the love of photography from my teenage years, I love to express my feelings visually and my trusty point and shoot saw to that!  

2008 saw me off with an entry Olympus DSLR and am now the proud owner of a Canon (yes you Nikon lovers can go shove one hehe).  I'm an amatuer but my passion is pushing me to find out what type of photography it is I like... I love people watching so most of my work have involved people and their surroundings or people and events. 

So how is this all leading to the arctic!? Mid-life crisis some may say or simply the realisation that I didn't want to be regretful on my deathbed, thinking, all I've done is sat my arse down in an office job and not done what I'd like to do is more like it (okay okay it maybe a little bit mid life crisis but one would not like to admit that!).

Don't get me wrong, I'm very lucky that I have a job I'm passionate about, not many people have that and I wouldn't give it up for all the toffee in the world (if I did I'd be a very big girl...!)... But it's because I love my job so much I didn't think I'd be able to go away weeks on end satisfying my itch to explore...

However it's true when they say, you won't know if you don't ask... I asked and I found out I have the most understanding boss and company in the world...(thanks Sean!).   Not only am I able to do what I've planned over the next two years, but I can also keep my job... Win! Win!

Over the next two years I plan on combining photography with exploring my goals.  I don't want it to be easy either.  I don't see the fun in commercial trips...anyone can do that! I want to feel like I've helped the community, the environment in some ways. 

I've been following the British School of Exploring Society for years since starting university and have loved their work so I have joined them and will be starting my adventures in the Arctic come April 2011.  The whole expedition team is part of a conservation project and each year BSES writes a paper on the studies they ahve carried out each year.  I'm priviledged to have been accepted as part of the 2011 team!  Three other projects are on my list after this one, another Arctic Study in 2012, marine conservation in Madagascar and study of Snow Leopards in the Altai Mountains (Central Asia).

So here begins my adventures for the next couple of years!  Please feel free to follow me, I promise, photos and no dull moments.  Any suggestions please post away!